Oh yes, regarding global warming. I take a completely neutral stance between the usual extremes of panic and denial, or hoax believers. If it is a problem I can guarantee there are many other problems that pose far greater dangers to humanity and far sooner than does global warming. Just as no one will take a serious look at any data showing global warming not to be the humanity threatening danger that fundamentalist members of the church of global warming “know” it to be, no one will even discuss these other dangerous situations. These are far more menacing, far more immediate, and far more traumatic than the worst global warming scenario the high priest of the church of global warming, Father Gore, could possibly describe.
What are these terribly serious situations? Why, the trials of Britney and Jamie Lynn and the pains of poor little Paris Hilton. Add that to the altercations of Lindsay Lohan and you have real earth-shaking events. Then there are all those bowl games and the NFL playoffs. Consider the trauma, the personal trauma that will befall those fans whose teams lose. It’s enough to bring one to tears of sympathy for those poor, soon to be traumatized souls. The suicide rate will probably multiply amidst the uncontrolled screaming and ranting of those poor losing fans as their teams head for home in disgrace.
So, buck up all you who are or may be facing these traumatic events. You can survive and maybe even escape with minor wounds if you just keep a stiff upper lip. Remember, intellectuals, geniuses and others like them may lose their BSs, their MAs, and even their PhDs, but a fan goes on forever and—there’s always next year or another flake to idolize.
Ho
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